whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I will pee on everything he values.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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