When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Acid is not a monday night drug
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
