the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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