Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
