those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
