ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
