hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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