hell yes lets make some ravioli
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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