yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
