i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
