I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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