That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
