dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
