look no pants
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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