You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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