Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
