guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
