my soul wont recognize me after tonight
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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