Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
