We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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