I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
