i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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