marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
