maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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