you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
