I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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