Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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