she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
