Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
