I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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