i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
someone owes me an orgasm
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
