id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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