Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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