You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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