dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize