does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Come on in and take your pants off
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