i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
