I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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