Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
