Your dad touched me again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
