I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize