So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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