Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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