we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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