Umm I'm too high to move.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
operation harelip BJ is a go
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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