I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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