i think my mom watched the whole time
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
