Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
