i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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