I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
