I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
