Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
