she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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