Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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