I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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