brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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